I wish I lived in a P.G. Wodehouse book

Aside from the fact that Hugh Laurie might be there being an adorably dense Wooster, the whole lawyer thing seems an easier gig than in real life:

"But I don't know anything about the law. What shall I say to him?"
"That's all right. I've been studying up a bit. As far as I can gather, this legal advice business is quite simple. Anything that isn't a tort is a misdemeanour. You've simply got to tell old Bennett that in your opinion the whole thing looks jolly like a tort."
"What's the word again?"
"Tort."
"What does it mean?"
"I don't know. Probably nobody knows. But it's a safe card to play. Tort. Don't forget it."
"Tort. Right ho!"

Wodehouse, Three Men and a Maid 150 (A.L. Burt Co. 1922)